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VIDEO: Marriage Is About Maturity, Not White Weddings – Duncan-Williams
Founder and General Overseer of Action Chapel International, Archbishop Nicholas Duncan-Williams, has cautioned young people against equating marriage with lavish weddings, stressing that maturity and responsibility, not age or public display, are the true foundations of a successful marriage.
Speaking in an interview with TV3 presenter Shirley E. F. Tibilla, popularly known as Cookie Tee, the revered cleric explained that while age can be symbolic, maturity is what truly qualifies a person for marriage.
Drawing from Jewish tradition and biblical history, Archbishop Duncan-Williams noted that the age of 30 is widely regarded as a season of maturity.
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“In Jewish society, 30 represents maturity,” he explained. “The first 30 years are learning years, the next 30 are achieving years, and the final 30 are legacy years.”
He cited biblical figures such as David, Joseph, and Jesus Christ, all of whom stepped into major leadership or ministry roles at age 30. However, he was quick to clarify that age alone does not guarantee readiness.
“I have seen people above 30 who are very immature and others below 30 who are very mature,” he said. “It’s not about the number. It’s about maturity.”
According to the Archbishop, true maturity is reflected in responsibility, especially financial responsibility.
“When you become mature, you do right,” he said. “Someone who is mature will ask: Am I responsible? Do I have what it takes to marry?”
He criticised the growing trend of extravagant weddings funded through debt, describing it as one of the major roots of marital stress and failure.
“We waste too much money on weddings,” he lamented. “People borrow just to impress others, and then after the marriage, they have nothing.”
Archbishop Duncan-Williams also challenged societal norms surrounding engagement and weddings, describing some practices as unnecessary duplications.
“In our culture, engagement is traditional marriage. And by law, traditional marriage is marriage,” he explained. “So why do engagement, then church blessing, then Registrar General? That’s double-minded.”
He argued that the obsession with white weddings has overshadowed the true purpose of marriage.
“The wedding gown is worn once,” he said bluntly. “You can’t even use it again. So what is the use if you have to borrow money to buy it?”
The Archbishop was particularly emphatic about the dangers of beginning marriage with debt, warning that financial pressure quickly destroys peace in the home.
“You go on honeymoon, and the phones start ringing,” he said. “The woman who supplied the chairs is calling. The one who brought drinks wants her money. Before you realise, your peace is gone.”
He stressed that love alone is not enough.
“Love doesn’t buy food. Pretty and handsome don’t buy food. It is money that buys food,” he stated.
Sharing a personal encounter, Archbishop Duncan-Williams recounted questioning a young pastor who was planning a wedding but had saved nothing.
“He hadn’t saved a dime,” the Archbishop revealed. “How do you marry someone’s daughter with nothing? You’ll beg for money to do the wedding, and after that, you have nothing to sustain the marriage.”
He described such decisions as irresponsible and a recipe for long-term stress.
Proposing an alternative, the Archbishop suggested simple, practical marriage ceremonies, especially for young couples still building their lives.
“We can bless five or ten couples on a Sunday morning,” he said. “No bridesmaids, no best man, no reception. Exchange rings, pronounce the blessing, and go home.”
He emphasised that marriage is not the same as a wedding and that elaborate ceremonies should be reserved for those who are already financially stable.
“If you have money, fine, do it,” he said. “But if you are still building your life, a wedding is a liability, not an asset.”
Archbishop Duncan-Williams concluded with a simple but firm appeal to young people:
“Be responsible. Plan for it. Even if you save 100 or 200 cedis a month, start somewhere. Don’t begin marriage at zero.”
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